...Young. Black. To the young black girl on the westbound train around 5:40 this afternoon, you almost made me cry today. Not because of your short shorts or navel breaker (I enjoy at least one of those things in the right time and place). It was the aura around you. I could feel your hostility; see it in your posture. You sat with your feet up on the seat, almost in the lap of the passenger next to you. I suppose I should be thankful that you at least had the courtesy to take your shoes off first.
Your eyes cut across the subway car trained on the people standing, daring them to claim “your” second seat for their own. Save for stolen glances of your reflection in the door across from where I stood, I averted my eyes – several times. But I was supposed to see you. That's what you wanted. Right?
Tell me. Who has broken you to this point where you think that behaviour is acceptable?
... Broken. Black. My emotions kicked into high gear after you left. I saw relief return to the faces of those offended by your gesture. In other faces there was an all too familiar hint of resignation. Shame. That's what my emotions were really about. I don't know your story young black girl, and it's just as well since the tabloids around dinner tables tonight will just label you – STEREOTYPE – anyway.
I've spent the past eight years more aware of my “colour” than ever before – a symptom of moving from the majority to a minority. But along with my consciousness of self comes a consciousness of others, the Black others. I want the best life for myself and for them too. When they stumble, I stumble. Caught being black while wearing a white name, I sometimes I walk into boardrooms too cautiously. It doesn't happen often, but it shouldn't happen at all. Every time I have an encounter like today's, I feel small for us. I feel small as a young black, once a girl, now a woman.
*****
To the young black girl, I would like to share this with you: Black Girl Thriving Tools (Short List) By Kyisha Williams (re-posted from the blog of Toronto artist and activist, Amanda Parris.)
